Fire me? Fire deez nuts in your mouth HAHAHAAAAAAA gottem
You should try that when you get fired or “let go”
Human capital management is pleased to announce there was an error on your hiring contract so you will be getting a 3% paycut
Felt good the day I told HR they didnt need to invest any more resources to “help” me. I was done and the boss clearly didnt care about having me around so I told them to fire me.
I work in HR and can tell you this is true
If past.lives are real then every hr employee across the globe had a past life as some middle manag3mentnpaper.pusher making the Holocaust possible.
If you work in hr there’s about a 99℅ you are irredeemably evil.
If you work in hr there’s about a 99℅ you are irredeemably evil.
That’s a funny way to spell “If you are a billionaire”.
Actually…
Most people doing their job quite literally are just doing their job, trying to make it to the end of the day. Believe me, even people in hr love their children, worry about the future, worry about their job, have hopes, fears and dreams and have to contend with shitty bosses.
Can you imagine one day the CEO coming in with a list of people that YOU have to fire, that YOU have to face, that will cry and yell in front of you as if you’re the one who did this to them?
Most people are pretty okay, actually, and not remotely evil. They might do bad things because they’re pressured or feel pressured, most people don’t enjoy firing others.
Just following orders.
Hannah Arendt would like a word with you, and you’ll be crushed when it’s over
The HR person who works with my team actually said “I actually really like firing people. Well, that didn’t sound right… but I do like making these changes.”
ha ha ha… ok. Cool.
Sociopath much?
I’m about to end employee 8675309’s whole career*.
8675309 about to become null
I got your number on the wall
Poor Jenny.
How are youuuu?
I threw up in the company fridge…
Would you prefer them be weeping? No really I wonder which people like getting bad news from more, happy or sad people.
I’d rather they rip the bandaid off and not pretend they are my friend. You are firing me. You are removing me from my source of income. Stop trying to be “pleasant” because it just looks like you are enjoying it.
No smiles, no affected happiness, no weasel words about being “let go”. Just say “yeah, sorry, you’re fired”. The more emotionless you can make it on your end, the better.
Heck don’t even fire me in person. Send me an e-mail. It’s a lot more… Humane. Less cruel.
I prefer them to not be enjoying it, nor taking it lightly that I’m losing my income and I’ll be struggling over the next series of months to make ends meet.
I mean, I’d like them to act like they feel bad. I think that’s what most people are after. Some semblance of “this is wrong and I’m sorry”
I would rather they self-flagellate throughout the entire process.
Better than self flatulating
I’ve already got that part covered
Is this an actress, or am I missing a reference?
Kinda looks like a weird Anne Hathaway
It looks like Anne Hathaway, who is a pretty well known actress. I think they just used her for the meme because of her smile.
I’d let her fire me all she wants
Yes, pretty sure on both accounts.
I think it’s also in reference to people getting fired over zoom. Also, it could be referencing how gen z will record their firings now and post them to tiktok to shame the company, LOL. I love gen z!
We would like to shift our structure to a more flexible model of management to accommodate for unforeseen market fluctuations.
So I am fired?
As I said we want to reschedule you indefinitely as our potential support asset. This pool is very prestigious and privileged position to be in.
So will I get paid?
As much as we would like to, truly, It is legally impossible for us to provide you with any funds outside of a legally binding contract which needs to be terminated in order to shift to a better state of financial buoyancy.
Corporations: never use 5 words when you can use 20. Obfuscation is the key.
I don’t… need to see that again. It doesn’t matter how good you were. When restructuring happens you lose regardless.
If there was one life experience I wish I can give to people, it’s that experience of being fired because of restructuring.
Imagine doing your job well. Imagine even loving your work and your coworkers. Then suddenly, a behind-the-scenes convo led to your department being dissolved and you’re out of a job. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were just in it’s way.
Welcome to life.
I work at a big company. We have tons and tons of problems to go solve that are getting little attention in addition to having a lot of redundant and/or “what would you say you do here” type positions. Most of this happens by accident, but it’s nearly impossible to unwind and redeploy those teams. My guess is that the big reasons why is because of leadership not wanting to look bad - a mix of “why did you staff this to begin with?” and “why did you let this go on for so long?” When these groups are eventually found during a reorg they tend to be let go vs redeployed, which makes it even harder for the remaining groups to do anything. The cycle is truly silly.
I was a casualty of this mid-career. Made redundant in the middle of the covid pandemic. I managed to scrape things together and called a few contacts who helped me out and put in a good word for me. Helped me secure employment. I’m in a better environment now than I was back then. But it was a terrifying experience being made redundant at a snap of a finger.
Why would you wish this one anyone?
We made some bad bets and we’re confident in our decision to let you go.
The only responsible thing for the working class to do is to form and maintain stronger unions and unite with all workers.
I’d prefer teaching this kind of thing.
Decades ago working as an office drone I mentioned to a co-worker that every business should have a union and he laughed. Because trying to form a union is an uphill nightmare and there’s always people happy to replace you when you inevitably get fired without cause (right to work BS) or for a clearly BS reason but it’s legally covered (“your position is no longer necessary” or some other such slimy nonsense.)
Can’t say this enough. The only way to have some kind of power as a worker is to unionize.
As someone who was recently laid off, I can identify. I didn’t see it immediately, but was able to travel to Arizona to catch some spring training baseball with my son and brother. That was all I needed to bounce back. On Monday I start a new job at a healthier company making 25% more money.
Your son is your brother ? Alabama ?
I’m sure you’re being obtuse but just to clarify they are two distinct humans and we are not from Alabama.
I’m just there for a cheap joke. Hope it didn’t hurt ! (BTW I have already been given the boot by HR. Can’t correctly express my feeling about them.)
Oh sure, but if you look a little beyond the surface you’d see people who also just want to keep their jobs, just like you.
It’s easy to vilify those you don’t like, it’s hard to really look at them and see that they aren’t that different from us
Their job is to enforce the whims of the ownership class under threat of violence. They protect the company at all costs in exchange for power over other working class people and a bigger paycheck. Fuck them, if they really are decent people then they should quit and get a job that actually benefits society.
My HR team has been doing layoffs inside their own department. It’s kind of interesting to watch.
Except they have access to everyone’s salaries so they have greater bargaining power than we do. Not exactly the same as the average employee at a company.
May be so, but they’re still human, love their kids, have problems just like you and me, and most importantly, they too can lose their job. I can just as well say that since I oversee all tech in the company that I work for thst, technically, if I wanted, I could see everyone’s salary too. Doesn’t make me better or worse or different than you.
Yeah, but I’m good at my job and they aren’t.
Yeah that’s funny. Most people think they’re good at their job while in my experience,.moet are mediocre at best.
Not saying you’re mediocre, but let’s just say that I imagine me being less good at my job than I think, even with the raving reviews I got.
They’re so damn incompetent at most of the places I’ve worked. It’s astonishing
Okay but wanting to keep your job as a nurse at a charity clinic and wanting to keep your job as an IDF colonel are not the same.
You’re comparing an HR employee to a military officer? That’s apples and oranges right there.
But I’ll bite. Most military officers and enlisted are people too, you know. They got kids, they love and hate people too. Hell, even terrorists. Ones terrorist is another person’s liberation hero. I’m sure most IDF officers too mat have misgivings about the war they fight but when you’re in a military you don’t get to complain, especially during a war.
It’s easy to vilify people, it’s hard to see that each and everyone of us is a human being with hopes and fears.
Based
Shit take. People that take HR jobs are that different than us. It’s like cops, the job only attracts the exact type of person that shouldn’t be doing that job.
I’ve never met a HR person I liked. The best I could feel twords then was quiet toleration… Now Ops folks, those people busy their asses to keep the ship from sinking.
Some time ago, I met an HR person at my job. She wasn’t actually part of the workplace HR team, rather, she was more like a classmate of mine, but she had worked as HR in the past and wanted to continue to do so in the future. She was kind and polite, so I never had any beef with her, but she consistently had the shittiest, most inhumane takes on how to manage and interact with people I had seen in a while lol.
Meeting her made me arrive at the conclusion that you just said. Empathetic people that get into HR with the idea of helping make the world a better place would eventually resign or, at least, be very ineffective as HR. The only people capable of staying in HR for a long time are sociopaths who don’t mind lying and being obtuse in job offers, and ruining someone’s life so their boss can squeeze a couple of extra cents. The profession itself only serves to make companies more ruthless and adds nothing of value to the world.
Sub that cutie for a fatass overcheerful teddybear lookin dude and i been there
Got the boot from a company.
Here’s the BS I had to deal with: -I was dealing with health issues when I was working. -My former coworker actively tried to make my condition worse. -I reported them for this to management & HR -Got fired, as they had friends in HR. -They filled out the unemployment paperwork wrong 4 times. -The unemployment case was so messed up, the local government got involved.
The positives. -Company deamed at fault and heavily scolded by the government. -I got paid more on unemployment than when working. -I make ~25% more at my new job.
That was ~2 years ago.
-I got paid more on unemployment than when working.
How did that one happen? That’s the unbelievable part to me - unemployment is basically capped to a percentage (usually 50%) of what you were making when working, at least where I live.
It happens - especially when company gets in trouble.
Unemployment counts the last 5 quarters. If you get fired before a quarter ends it doesn’t count it as a full quarter.
I left a different job making a lot more because of my health. I knew the manager at this new job and he saw I wanted a position that I was already in. Less hours, about the same pay.
When I was unemployed it counted the vacation I was reimbursed upon my leave from the previous company and the massive amount of overtime I was making from the previous job. If they would have fired me 4 days later, I would have been in the new quarter and gotten a lot less.
Not saying this is not possible, but your story does seem a bit simple.
Unlikely but bound to happen eventually? Sure
Feel free to ask away.
