Hipster burger restaurant starter pack.

Question for the audience: what city do you most associate this style with? For me it’s Seattle, because that’s where I live, and ugh, it’s everywhere.

“if i pay $50,000 for this hanging piece of flare, and only stay open from 4-10pm we can siphon money from money with our money from the people who have money. But our waiter? minimum wage, cameras in the back our head chef is a wanker from out of state who pretended to be something they are clearly not, and the wine? straight from my vineyard, with minimal staff, green card only workers and an ever living hate for anything that shows compassion or empathy. that’ll be $18 a glass of home wine and $38 for alfredo pasta add $8 for broccoli add $10 for chicken. what…what’s wrong this is just business.”

I despise that kind of lighting because it’s so fucking dim at nighttime. The places that still have physical menus apparently expect everyone to pull up their cellphones’ flashlight to read it.

One place I went last year also had some boardgames, but only opened at night and only had that shit dim yellow light. Reading anything was nearly impossible and even the colors of the game pieces were blending together, “is this red, pink or orange?”

Lol I have those exact barstools at home.

TIL they are supposed to be hipster/fancy?

It’s annoying that you can either choose between having a weedy shit burger that’s mostly lettuce and has to be held together with a stick, or eating a really expensive one and have to look at a load of wanker tat on the walls.

Also, you can stick your brioche buns up your arse. A brioche bun is not a load bearing bun. It dissolves in contact with moisture.

Gentrified takes on junk food with gratuitously expensive ingredients that are a slightly more subtle equivalent to just sprinkling everything with gold leaf like in 1990s Moscow or somewhere (“Our Southern-fried hog jowls come from rare heritage-breed hogs sourced from a tiny family-owned farm in the Outer Hebrides”)

Funnily enough here the prices of fast food chains have risen so sharply that the fancy hipster burger places are now priced the same or even cheaper. Like a double cheeseburger at a McDonalds is 5.50 euros but a local burger joint with burgers twice as big, filling and so much tastier are 6 euros, it’s a pretty simple choice.

I went to one of these wanky places in London and had to use my phone light to illuminate the menu sufficiently so I could see it, thanks to those shit light bulbs they insist on hanging everywhere. There are dozens of them and yet they give off no light… wtf is the point.

What if we just didn’t build a ceiling and called it the industrial aesthetic?

Hate joints like this.

And you just know that this is the type of restaurant to throw out still edible food in a dumpster and then call the cops when starving people try to take stuff from the dumpster.

I feel like I’ve seen more Karens in these places than any other

These restaurants keep my cousins’ reclaimed wood furniture business alive.

Damn…what is this, r/seattle?

Don’t forget the fact that despite it’s just a cheeseburger, it’s named “The Vonderbilt Wonder”, “Halfsie Pattsies”, or “Edmonton the Second”. Ideally on a menu so scant on details it’s hard to tell the french fries from the extra avocado.

That’s literally “The Works” burger chain in Ottawa.